Some situations have become difficult problems because the doing, and some of the habits of mind connected to that doing, aren’t working anymore and are also connected to ways of seeing reality that people can be fiercely, unreasonably loyal to - despite clear as day evidence to the contrary.

Dealing with the "ex" - keeping him connected if possible - is good for the children and ultimately also for the spouse

It’s precisely the folks who’ve been aware for awhile of a growing problem, have a sense of when it started, what its possible sources might be, what's happened since then, and really want to understand their own part in the process - those are the people who use consultation well.

the key quality that "makes" someone as a manager is his or her courage and willingness to step up and take responsibility for the successful completion of the work product.

Good or effective management: it's not about holding their hands enough, or wasting time wishing they weren't who they are, but instead it's about - first and foremost - managing yourself, modeling the adult perspective, and keeping the focus on the work.

Workplaces are far more relaxed and productive when the supervisor is comfortable inside his or her skin, doesn't need to play one-upsmanship with the supervisees, really wants to know and understand what's going on, and doesn't need to let everyone know who's in charge.  They know anyway.

Conversations between supervisors and employees are supposed to be about the work, not have an undercurrent of judgment and personal power.

You can probably tell: I really like Employee Assistance Programs

Give people support and resources, and then - yes - hold them accountable.