Personal Consulting and Coaching

Regarding this article: “Every Moment Is Right: Don’t laugh at my fear. I won’t laugh at yours.”

I ran across this post and wanted to make a comment.

Every Moment Is Right: Don’t laugh at my fear. I won’t laugh at yours..

This is an example of a sensibility that I (sort of) understand. I see it more and more these days, but respectfully disagree with it as a point of view.  It’s a bridge too far, and contains more anger and harsh judgement at well-meaning people than it should.

Most comments to the effect of  “don’t be afraid” are conveyed in good faith, meant to be helpful, and are communicating hope and help – not negative judgement.

Managing fear used to be an important social concern, not simply a personal one.  The point was to help community members identify actual danger in the world “out there” – at least as much, if not more, than to validate someone’s “right” to their own feelings.  It’s almost always conveyed in a way both accepting of the existence of one’s fears, but, yes, also does suggest that fears can be managed if not overcome.

It’s just not that terrible to have someone suggest, “I don’t think it’s that dangerous. You’ll be OK” The smiling helps reinforce a benign, hopeful message – not a negative judgment.

Ultimately, people struggle successfully, or not so much, with their doubts and fears, and being bothered by what others say (who truly are trying to be helpful) is a wasted side trip – and a bit much, frankly.

Shaun Kieran

 (207) 767-3864

Related Posts

Dad is Sad

A truly heartwarming scene:  as friends and family dab their eyes, a 19-year-old young man, in Special Ed since middle school for both “behavioral” and

Read More »

Paying attention pays

“Attention” is getting a lot of attention these days, and rightfully so. We routinely joke about everybody’s shorter attention spans and chronic anxiety – “I

Read More »

Choosing to Consult

It was never totally clear to me what the characteristics were of someone choosing to seek consultation. It wasn’t always an outright crisis, but sometimes

Read More »

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *