Reflections on Actually Helping
There are certainly a lot of credible reasons to hesitate to talk to a professional about problems and situations that have a personal, emotional piece. Sometimes, it’s nothing more than worrying that it might make things a bigger problem than they already are. So, it’s fine to be cautious, but – there comes a point […]
Choosing to Consult
It was never totally clear to me what the characteristics were of someone choosing to seek consultation. It wasn’t always an outright crisis, but sometimes it was because something had recently “blown up” and needed to be talked about. More often there were all kinds of mixed messages going back and forth, demands and nudges […]
The Pragmatism of Workplace Consultation
Being arbitrary and capricious generate their own problems, and are seldom part of any healthy workplace culture.
How dealing with people works at the workplace
Contrary to some schools of thought, successful “people management” is not really a science – it’s more of an art. But it’s also a skill that can be learned. Some managers are naturally blessed with a great temperament for handling people – which mostly means they make fewer unforced errors at the beginning. But, with a little self-nudge and […]
A Classic “Ask Shaun”
Shaun, when do I pull the plug on my immature, s***-for-brains, possibly dangerous ex, who – here we go again – is playing games, is not paying child support, and is barely even trying to keep his end of the visitation agreement? I know boys need their Dads – my sons sure do totally adore theirs – and I […]
Home and Work
“My workplace is home. My actual home is Hell.” I remember starting out mildly amused at the way she said it, assuming she was exaggerating slightly, but I got very sad – for everyone – when it was clear from her moist eyes, that she mostly meant it. For her, her workplace was where there […]
The Premise Behind “90 for 90”
As I look back at all those client-contact moments and sessions, all the way to the beginning of my professional career, I’m hoping to see as clearly as possible what were the things that helped – really – what were the crucial elements to the best outcomes? I can’t get past the conclusion that it […]
Managing Is Not For Wusses
Not everyone slides easily into managing. I’ve seen highly-competent self-starters, responsible for big projects involving huge dollar amounts, totally fall apart when called upon to handle a “people” problem in the workplace. Too often, they “handle” it by simply avoiding it, letting it fester and play out, then – when the situation has broken wide-open […]
One Good Conversation
The idea behind 90 for 90 As I look back over the various client-contact moments and sessions – going all the way back to the beginning of my professional career – I’m looking to see clearly the elements that were crucial to the best outcomes. I can’t get past the conclusion that the first contact […]
A Happy Coparenting Client
Awhile back, not too long before the pandemic got started, I was in the grocery store and ran into an ex-client. As I usually do, I got my poker face on and looked off into the middle distance, but she came right over to me, gave me a nice hug and said how great it […]